Alice in Wonderland: Part 7: A mad tea-party

Narrator
Hello! Alice is trying to find her way back to the beautiful garden she saw when she first arrived in Wonderland. On her way, she met the Cheshire-Cat in the woods, who told Alice about the March Hare and the Hatter. Alice found the March Hare and the Hatter, having a tea-party.

Hatter and March Hare
Would you like some tea? Tea? Yes please, and cake? One cake... two cakes? One lump or two?

Alice
Curiouser and curiouser. They're having a tea-party. But where are all the guests?

Narrator
The Hatter and the March Hare were sitting at one end of a very long table, which had empty cups and plates all the way along it. But the only other guest was a mouse, who was sound asleep. Alice decided to join them.

Hatter and March Hare
No room here! I'm sorry, no room!

Alice
There's plenty of room!

Narrator
Alice sat down. The Hatter opened his eyes very wide.

Hatter
Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice
Ooh, good. Riddles! I love riddles!

Narrator
The March Hare looked at Alice.

March Hare
You mean you know the answer, don't you?

Alice
Yes, I do.

March Hare
Then you should say what you mean!

Alice
I do. At least, I mean what I say. That's the same thing, isn't it?

Hatter
But why is a raven like a writing-desk? Have you guessed the answer yet?

Alice
No. I give up. What's the answer?

Hatter
I don't know! Do you know?

March Hare
I don't know either!

Alice
I think you should only ask riddles if you know the answer.

March Hare
Have some more tea.

Alice
I haven't had any tea, have I? So I can't take more.

Hatter
You mean you can't take less. It's very easy to take more than nothing.

Narrator
Alice got up and walked off without saying goodbye.

March Hare
More tea, Hatter?

Hatter
Don't mind if I do!

Narrator
The Hatter and the March Hare didn't seem to notice her leaving. Alice went back into the woods. She looked back as she walked away. The Hatter and the March Hare were trying to put the mouse into the teapot.

Hatter and Hare
Mousey mousey! In you go! Plop! Oh, he does wriggle so. More tea?

Alice
I'll never go there again! That was the stupidest tea-party I've ever been to in all my life!

Narrator
Back in the woods, Alice saw a tree with a door in it.

Alice
That's very curious! I wonder what could be behind a door in a tree...

Narrator
In Wonderland anything can be behind any door. Alice opened the door and there she was at the beginning of her adventures again – in the hall with the locked doors and the table with the little key on it.

Alice
I remember that little door and the key! This time I know what to do! I'm finally going to get into the garden!

Narrator
Alice had learned a lot about growing and shrinking in Wonderland. She took the key off the table first… and then ate some of the mushroom she had taken from the caterpillar and put in her pocket. Soon she was small enough to unlock the door and go through it.

Alice
Oh, it's so pretty here!

Narrator
We'll leave Alice here for now, happy in the garden at last. Soon, she's going to meet the Queen and play croquet. Will she still be happy then? I'll tell you next time.