Tips to Fight the Fear of Being Laughed at

Amy Melendez was in a supermarket in Maryland with friends when it happened to her.

She had ordered one of her favorite drinks, a corn-based beverage from Central America called atole.

She began to drink her atole when a man nearby asked if it was good. But the man was using casual language and Melendez did not understand his question. So she said, “I don’t know.”

The man then asked how it was possible for her not to know how the drink was.

That's when the laughter began. The man laughed. Her friends laughed. Amy Melendez felt a little foolish.

Her spoken exchange with the man was entirely in Spanish.

Melendez is a Spanish learner. But she is also an English language teacher. Currently, she supervises English and service worker training programs at 32BJ in Maryland.

Melendez has shared the supermarket story with many of her students. She wants them to know she can relate to the challenges of learning a language.

Being laughed at or joked about can happen no matter what language you are learning. And it may make some learners nervous about speaking their new language.

However experts say there are ways to overcome those feelings. So on Education Tips today, we offer suggestions from a few teachers.

Why do people laugh?

But first, let’s explore why some people laugh.

Wynter Oshiberu teaches English in Washington, D.C. and Maryland, including for the International Center for Language Studies and a nonprofit group called Paper Airplanes.

She says most people who laugh are not trying to be mean or hurtful. Instead, a language learner’s pronunciation or way of putting words together may sound unusual to some native speakers and can take them by surprise.

“And they’re not thinking about how it might make the other individual feel who's learning the language... It’s just a natural instinct when you hear something that sounds a little bit different than what you would expect to hear or how you would expect to hear it.”

If the way you say something sounds different or unusual to a native speaker, that person may not have had much contact with foreigners.

Josh Plotkin is an American living in Brazil. He has been fluent in Portuguese for years. He operates a website called BrazilianGringo.com, which teaches foreigners how to live in Brazil and improve their spoken Portuguese.

On his website, Plotkin notes that some Brazilians who have little contact with foreigners laugh at him because they aren't “used to hearing an American speaking Portuguese.”

He notes similar experiences when traveling in other countries and trying to speak their languages.

But whether the reason is lack of contact or something else, we have tips for overcoming the fear of using your English.

Tip #1 – Relax; be patient with yourself

The first suggestion is to relax and be patient with yourself, a piece of advice from Oshiberu.

She says to remind yourself that you are learning the language, so it is normal to make mistakes. She advises not to be too hard on yourself.

“I think sometimes the best thing to do is just smile and just breathe and relax and…try not to let the fear of laughter stop you from learning the language or immersing yourself in the language.”

Oshiberu also suggests learners avoid setting learning goals that are too strict, which can sometimes become a barrier rather than help.

Other experts note that people who make jokes or laugh may not have studied a second language. This is yet another reason not to judge yourself by the reactions of others.

Plotkin warns against worrying that people are thinking, “You look like a fool trying to speak our language.” Ideas like these can hurt your progress and be a barrier to fluency.

Tip #2 – Practice your speaking skills

The second tip is to practice your speaking skills.

Both Melendez and Oshiberu say practice is one of the best ways to deal with fear.

Melendez suggests doing role plays. In a role play, two or more people act out an imaginary situation; for example, going to a market or talking to a bus driver.

“If you know there’s a new situation – a situation you might not feel comfortable in, what are the phrases you might need? What are the words? Is there someone you can practice with? But definitely just going through those role plays will help you overcome the fear."

You can imagine, for example, your friend is a bus driver. You have a lot of questions about taking the bus. You can practice the questions on your friend.

Melendez says if you are unable to find a practice partner, you can practice in your head or you can talk out loud.

Oshiberu says another solution is to record your voice as you train by yourself. That way, you can listen for mistakes, whether in your wording or pronunciation, and correct them.

Tip #3 – Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Our third tip is: Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

If you are worried about what to do in the moment when someone makes a joke, the solution can be simple: Kindly ask the person the reason for the laughter, like this, says Melendez:

“‘Is there a different way that I could have said it?’ or ‘How would you usually say it?’”

She said the issue could be something very simple. Then, once you know the issue, you can bring the information to a trusted person, such as a friend or practice partner, and ask them to help you correct it.

Tip #4 – Keep a sense of humor

The fourth and final tip is to keep a sense of humor.

Keeping a sense of humor can make the long process of learning a language more fun. You might even laugh with the person who is laughing or making the joke. This may feel strange at first but gets easier with time.

Josh Plotkin notes that, over time, he has come to understand that being laughed at when speaking a foreign language is not a bad thing. He has learned not to take it personally. These days, he even laughs along with the people, using it as a way to make new friends.

I’m Alice Bryant.

Alice Bryant wrote this story for VOA Learning English. George Grow was the editor.

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Words in This Story

beverage – n. something you can drink

casual – adj. not suited for serious or official speech and writing

challenge – n. something that is hard to do

pronunciation – n. a particular person's way of saying a word or the words of a language

instinct – n. the way people or animals naturally react or behave, without having to think about it

fluent – adj. able to speak a language easily and very well

immerse – v. to make yourself fully involved in some activity or interest

strict – adj. used to describe a command or rule that must be obeyed

moment – n. a precise point in time

practice – v. to do something again and again in order to become better at it

对抗被嘲笑恐惧的小贴士

艾米·梅伦德斯和朋友们正在马里兰州的一家超市里时，发生了这样一件事。

她点了一种她最喜欢的饮料，一种来自中美洲的名叫玉米粥的玉米饮品。

她开始喝粥的时候，旁边有个男人问她是否喝好。但是，那个人话语很随意，梅伦德斯没明白他的问题。所以她说，“我不知道。”

随后，那个男人问她怎么可能不知道饮品是否好喝。

就在那时，笑声开始了。那个男人笑了起来，她的朋友们也笑了。艾米·梅伦德斯觉得自己有点傻兮兮的。

她和那个男人的谈话完全是用西班牙语进行的。

梅伦德斯是个西班牙语学习者，但她也是一名英语教师。目前，她负责马里兰州32BJ的英语和服务人员培训项目。

梅伦德斯和她的许多学生分享了超市的故事，她想让他们知道她能应付学习语言的挑战。

不管你在学什么语言，都会遇到被嘲笑或开玩笑的事。这可能会使一些学习者对说他们所说的新语言感到紧张。

不过，专家表示，有办法克服这些感觉。所以，今天的教育小贴士节目中，我们要提供一些老师们的建议。

但首先，让我们来探究一下为什么有些人会嘲笑别人。

威特·奥斯伯鲁在华盛顿特区和马里兰州教授英语，其中包括国际语言研究中心和一个名为纸飞机的非盈利组织。

她说，大多数人笑话别人并不是想表现得刻薄或伤害他人。相反，一个语言学习者的发音或措辞方式，对一些母语者来说可能听起来有点怪，可能会让他们感到吃惊。

“他们并没有考虑到，这会让另一个正在学习这门语言的人有何感受。当你听到的声音与你期望听到的或如何听到的声音不同时，会感觉到差异，这只是一种本能。”

如果你说话的方式对一个母语者来说，听起来不一样或不寻常，那么这个人可能与外国人没有太多接触。

乔什·普洛特金是一位居住在巴西的美国人，他多年来一直精通葡萄牙语。他经营着一个名为BrazilianGringo.com的网站，该网站教外国人如何在巴西生活，并提高他们的葡萄牙语口语。

普洛特金在他的网站上指出，一些与外国人几乎没有接触的巴西人嘲笑他，因为他们“不习惯听一个美国人讲葡萄牙语。”

他在其他国家旅行，并尝试讲他们的语言时也注意到类似的经历。

但不管是因为缺乏交往，还是其他原因，我们都有克服说英语时感到恐惧的方法。

第一个建议是放松并对自己有耐心，这是奥斯伯鲁的一条建议。

她说，要提醒自己你正在学习这门语言，所以犯错误是正常的。她建议不要对自己太苛刻。

“我觉得有时候最好的办法就是微笑，呼吸放松……尽量不要让怕被嘲笑的恐惧阻止你学习语言，或是阻止让自己沉浸在语言中。”

奥斯伯鲁还建议学习者避免设定过于严格的学习目标，这有时会成为一种障碍，而不是帮助。

其他专家指出，开玩笑或嘲笑他人的人可能没有学过第二语言。这是另一个不要根据别人的反应来评断自己的原因。

普洛特金警告说，不要担心人们在想，“你在说我们的语言时看起来像个傻瓜。”这样的想法会阻碍你的进步，成为流利说话的障碍。

第二个建议是练习你的说话技巧。

梅伦德斯和奥斯伯鲁都表示，练习是应对恐惧的最佳方式之一。

梅伦德斯建议做角色扮演。在角色扮演中，两个或两个以上的人表演一种想象的情景；例如，去市场或和公共汽车司机交谈。

“如果你知道有新情况，一个你可能会感到不舒服的情境，你需要用什么短语呢？

用什么词？你能和谁一起练习吗？但是，通过这些角色扮演绝对可以帮助你克服恐惧。”

你可以想象，例如，你的朋友是一位公共汽车司机。你对乘坐公车有很多问题，你可以与朋友一起练习这些问题。

梅伦德斯说，如果找不到练习伙伴，你可以在脑子里练习，或者大声说出来。

奥希伯鲁说，另一个解决办法是在你练习时，录下自己的声音。这样，你可以听自己犯的错误，不管是在措辞上还是发音上的错误，并改正它们。

我们的第三条建议是：不要害怕提问。

如果你担心别人开玩笑时不知道该怎么办，解决方法很简单：像这样善意地询问对方嘲笑的原因，梅伦德斯说：

“我能用什么不同的方式说吗？”或者“你通常怎么表述？”

她说这个问题可能很简单。然后，一旦你对它有所了解，就可以去询问值得信任的人，比如你的朋友或练习伙伴，并请他们帮你改正。

第四条也是最后一条建议，即保持幽默感。

保持幽默感可以使学习一门语言的漫长过程更有趣。你甚至可以和正在嘲笑你或开玩笑的人一起大笑。一开始这可能有点奇怪，但随着时间的推移会变得更容易。

乔什·普洛特金指出，随着时间的推移，他逐渐明白，说外语时被嘲笑并不是坏事。他学会了不把它当回事。如今，他甚至和人们一起大笑，以此来结交新朋友。

爱丽丝·布莱恩特报道。